


Tsukishima Kei x Fem! Reader ~ If I Tremble

by garchompp



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: F/M, Songfic, i'm a slut for sensitive tsukki, personal headcanons included
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-15
Updated: 2015-10-15
Packaged: 2018-08-07 19:59:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7727890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/garchompp/pseuds/garchompp
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>And if I tremble at the sight of you, it's not because I'm cold<i></i></i>
  <br/>
  <i>It's because I'm staring at the girl I want to love me when I'm old<i></i></i>
</p><p>"...All lives touch other lives to create something anew and alive."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tsukishima Kei x Fem! Reader ~ If I Tremble

**Author's Note:**

> I have this headcanon that Tsukishima is just using that snotty attitude as a barrier because he's afraid/been hurt in the past. Maybe it's just me, though...I hope you all enjoy, and please point out any errors you see/ tell me what you think in the comments! Thanks!  

 

 

 

(Hey, everyone! Please listen to this ( [listenonrepeat.com/?v=40qV9vEo…](http://www.deviantart.com/users/outgoing?https://listenonrepeat.com/?v=40qV9vEofRs#Front_Porch_Step__If_I_Tremble_) ) beautiful song to get the full effect of this work! I hope you enjoy.)

**  
**

 

**_I see the fear in your eyes; I feel the pain in your heart,_**

**_How can something so well put together be so torn apart?_ **

**_You are the beauty I want; you are the angel I need,_ **

**_I find the proof of God in every single word that you speak,_ **

**_You smell like girly shampoo; I love when I smell like you,_ **

**_Reminds me why I wake up_ **

 

    He never thought another person could get under his skin like this. Sure, that Hinata got on his nerves because of how easily excitable the annoying redhead was, and, sure, he loved teasing the far-too-intense “King,” who annoyed the blond middle blocker with his unbridled, fiery attitude, but…this person was different.

     

    (Name) (Surname). The name itself sent shivers down Tsukishima’s spine. She was in class 1-5, the cream of the academic crop, and a close friend of Yachi Hitoka. Japan was not her native soil; she had transferred from America (yet her Japanese was extremely good). She was always eager to learn and her empathetic nature could make anyone smile. She would go so far as to even thank her teachers after every class, her teachers bragged. She spoke with a certain lilt in her voice every time she accompanied Yachi to practice, amusedly gesturing at her friend when the short blonde became flustered. Her brilliant, inquisitive (e/c) eyes brimmed with curiosity and life, and her (h/c) tresses always smelled slightly of flowery shampoo. She became fast friends with most of the team, quickly learning everyone’s likes and dislikes. She even made sure to call each of them on his or her birthday!

    Tsukishima, however, kept his distance. If the girl tried to initiate conversation, he would try to push her away with a snarky remark that was more toned down than the quips he used against the dumbass Hinata and the “King.” Something about her seemed off, he was sure of it. Something flickered behind the cheerful brightness in her eyes. There was always a little inflection of her voice after every, “I’m great, how are you?” Her step never bounced; it was more like she was using all of her willpower to keep upright. He also noted that there wasn’t a soul who commented on her state, as if they didn’t notice, and, for some reason, it hurt him when he thought about her pain being ignored. She reminded him of himself, and that scared him.

            “Hey, Tsukishima-san,” (Name) said cheerfully, sliding onto the floor next to him. The boy nearly choked on the water that he had been drinking, coughing vigorously to reopen his windpipe. After Yamaguchi (who had been walking by his tall best friend) smacked him on the back a few times, the glasses wearing blond spat out a hasty “what do you want?” Yamaguchi gave (Name) an apologetic look before greeting her nicely. After giving Tsukishima a concerned look, (Name) began to idly chat with Yamaguchi, stealing glances at the grumpy beanpole next to her, who was intently glaring at the floor.

 

 

            It was dark before practice ended, leaving (Name) alone in the dark with her thoughts. After checking to make sure no one else still remained outside the building, she allowed silent beads of salt water to slide down her cheeks, the bitter fall wind nearly freezing the tears to her face. She let out a muffled sob, sinking to a sitting position against the wall. She was in _so much pain,_ yet she never let anyone else see past her cheerful persona. She didn’t want to be a burden or a hassle to people; she didn’t want to be what she detested–weak. She was sobbing now, her goosebump-covered arms drawing tightly around her exposed body. She cursed herself for forgetting her coat as another strong gale smashed against her shivering body. She pulled her knees to her chest, burying her face in her jeans. The sensation of something warm being unceremoniously plopped on her shoulders jolted the (e/c)-eyed girl out of her trance. Looking up through her wet eyelashes, she spotted the person she least expected to see at that moment.           

            “I knew that something wasn’t right,” Tsukishima muttered, slipping the girl’s arms into his jacket’s sleeves. After helping her up, he awkwardly squashed the teen into his chest, resting his hands on her hips.

            “W-Why the sudden affection, Tsukishima-san? You seem to hate me so much that you even shudder when I walk by you,” (Name) whimpered, still crying. The blond huffed, his cheeks burning red.

            “I don’t shudder, you dense idiot! I just get a sudden warmth when you walk by me, okay? And…I could tell that you were hurting,” he cryptically stammered, not elaborating further. (Name) smiled slightly into his chest, finally returning the stiff hug.

            “You’re just full of surprises, aren’t you, Tsukishima-san?”

            “J-Just Tsukishima is fine, stupid!”

 

**_And if I tremble at the sight of you, it's not because I'm cold_ **

**_It's because I'm staring at the girl I want to love me when I'm old_ **

**_I swear with all my heart; every word I write for you is true,_ **

**_And I won't hesitate to give my all for you_ **

****

    He was much more receptive to her after that night. She had talked to him about what was on her mind, with Tsukishima offering advice and support where he could. Her parents were always taking out their frustrations on her, and she was having trouble with some of her friends. He was behaving strangely– giving helpful advice instead of curt remarks, letting her cry into his shirt, listening to what she had to say, his heart aching for her… _he was_ _falling in love with this girl._ He would physically shiver a bit when she walked in the gym, snapping his eyes away from her form. He wanted to forget all reason and scoop her into his lanky arms, spin her around, kiss her, and even _smile at her_. But…he wasn’t sure how to express his feelings in a way that wouldn’t embarrass himself, so he began to write. It started with writing lists of things he liked about (Name). Those lists soon morphed into prose, which in turn transformed into beautiful poetry. He brought his notebook with him to practice every day, jotting down lines when they waltzed into his head. The only person who knew the truth about his new hobby was Yamaguchi, who swore not to say a word about it to anyone.  

    One day, Tsukishima noticed that (Name) seemed especially tired and downtrodden. He wrote what he considered to be one of his best pieces down in English on a slip of paper and slipped it in her locker, hiding behind a wall to watch her reaction. An indescribable warm feeling exploded in his chest when she smiled and blushed at the paragraph, which read, “I’m not sure how to tell you, but something happens to me when you’re around. My heart soars into the sky when you smile, but when you cry it plummets back down to the ground. I promise that I’m not writing lies; I’m not that kind of guy. When I look at you, I see the person I would give everything I have for, and trust me, I will try.”

    

**_You are the stars in the skies; you are the sound of the rain,_ **

     ** _You are the strong sense of calm that takes away all the pain,_**

     ** _You are the rush of the wind; I'm just a man on his knees,_**

     ** _Praying to god to grow old with the girl of his dreams,_**

     ** _You've got my heart in your hand; you've got my hand if you want,_**

     ** _So please love me forever_**

 

     

    Weeks went by as the two teenagers got closer and closer. (Name) had started spending her lunch hour with Yamaguchi and Tsukishima, dragging Yachi along with her (she and Tsukishima both wanted Yachi and Yamaguchi to get together, though (Name) had a heck of a time getting him to admit it). Borrowing books from one another and listening to each other’s music had become commonplace for (Name) and Tsukishima. (Name) would always have a new fantasy book to suggest and some English classic rock for the boy to listen to, while he gave her some Japanese classics and had her listen to some French and Japanese music. The two eventually got an adapter that let two pairs of headphones to be plugged in at once so that music sharing became easier. Some lunch periods were silent as the pair listened to the same song and read their respective books while Yachi and Yamaguchi watched and giggled amongst themselves.

    “Tsukki!” a feminine voice called jovially, the owner of said voice jogging up to the tall megane early on a Wednesday morning.

    “Tch…that nickname is just awful,” he groaned, secretly pleased and embarrassed that she would use that cutesy nickname. (Name’s) loud laughter reverberated through the courtyard, causing her to stop abruptly and her face to heat up. Tsukishima smirked, seeing a perfect opportunity.

    “What a laugh! Might as well call you Hyena-chan!” he snorted. (Name) playfully punched his arm, snickering herself.

    “Says the guy who had never even heard of Pink Floyd!” she chortled, watching the tall blond’s face turn into a tomato. “Anyway, I have to get to class. See you later!” She grabbed his hand suddenly, giving it a reassuring squeeze before dashing off. Tsukishima’s jaw hung open slightly as red crept up to the tips of his ears, his eyes locked on the hand she had touched.

     

    

     ** _Deep in the still of the night, I hear your voice in the dark,_**

     ** _It fills the empty spaces taking over my broken heart,_**

     ** _You give me strength to go on; you rescue me from the pain,_**

     ** _I'm crazy for you 'cause your love kept me from going insane,_**

     ** _You stole my heart with one kiss; embraced my soul with your lips,_**

     ** _And I'm forever grateful_**

    

    “Tsukki, listen to me. You are going to be okay. Please just calm down and focus on the sound of my voice.” Golden brown eyes hazy with tears and anguish peered into caring and resolute (e/c) ones, his cold, tearstained cheeks being held by her warm hands. His lip trembled despite himself, letting out another sob. (Name) could feel her heart break into tiny pieces as he cried without restraint, propped up against the gym wall where he had found her six months ago. She moved her hands from his cheeks to his waist, wrapping her arms around him and murmuring encouraging words into his ear. She had removed his glasses and put them in a pocket of her bag, safe from the sprinkling of rain that had begun to fall. After a few minutes, the boy’s sobs became small sniffles, allowing him to finally speak.

    “I-I’m sor-“ he began.

    “Don’t even try to apologize! You have done nothing wrong. Please, just tell me what happened,” the girl interrupted, running her fingers through his soft hair. Sighing in both misery and relief, Tsukishima began to tell her what had transpired.

    “I’m just so worried about losing everyone, you know? I feel so disgusting and weak saying this, but…it seems too good to be true. I never had friends, so I’m not really sure what to do to keep them,” he stammered, biting back more tears. (Name) smiled sadly, drawing the boy into a hug once more.

    “I understand the feeling, but you have nothing to worry about. You’ve got a lot more to you than these emotional walls you put up, and people will see that once you let them in. Just know that no matter what happens, I will always be here for you.” The tears leaking out of Tsukishima’s eyes were not of grief this time; they were of unmitigated love.

    “You really are something else, aren’t you, (Surname)? Stopping me from having a panic attack and all…” he laughed weakly. (Name) put her hand on top of his, a scheming smirk on her face.

    “I know how to make sure you feel completely recovered,” she said, her grin childishly mischievous. Tsukishima opened his mouth to question her, but she slammed her lips against his before he could utter a sound. It was pouring now, but the pair barely noticed as they drank in the other, foreheads gently knocking together in a hypnotic rhythm. The kiss was sweet, melancholy, and passionate, saying everything that the two wanted to say without the complications of words getting in the way. Tsukishima became acutely aware of the scent of (Name’s) perfume, the softness of her hair, her slightly chapped lips, and her fingers tracing circles into the palm of his other hand. She focused on the taste of strawberries and the smoothness of his warm skin, practically melting into him. After the human need for oxygen broke them apart, (Name) grabbed his hand and brought him to his feet with her, grabbing her bag from under the nearby awning.

    “I love you, Tsukki,” she confessed quietly, squeezing his hand.

    “Call me Kei, (Name),” he whispered back, using her first name for the first time. Her eyes widened, a grin breaking out on her face.

    “All right then,” she said, continuing her statement in English, “I love you, Kei.”

    “I deeply appreciate you, too.”

    “Wow. How romantic,” she deadpanned, trying not to laugh. Tsukishima surprised her by giving her the biggest and most genuine grin she had ever seen on anyone, causing a huge smile to creep onto her face to match. “You should smile more often. It suits you,” she chirped, pecking him on the cheek one more time. “See you tomorrow!”

    “See you tomorrow, (Name)!” he called, waving slightly as the girl ran towards her home. Maybe he was okay with letting someone in.

     

    

     

**Bonus:**

     

    “DID YOU SEE THAT?! THEY WERE ALL LIKE ‘PSHIM!’ AND ‘SWOO!’ AND THEN STINGYISHIMA SMILED! WHY CAN’T YOU SMILE NICELY LIKE THAT, KAGEYAMA?”

    “HINATA, YOU DUMABASS!”


End file.
